Fright Night (2011)

CAST: Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell and David Tennant

Writer: Marti Noxon

Director: Craig Gillespie

As many "TRUE" Horror fan all of our favorite classics are being remade into crappy marketing tools for a legion of pseudo Horror fans. These Miscreants watch the remakes of the films of yesteryear and actually like them and have the audacity to rank on the originals and the fans alike. This review however is not about these poor, unfortunate, brainless slaves to conglomerate media waste and about a recent piece of that waste that was unleashed to the public with no respect for the comedic genius of the original at all. So "Welcome To Fright Night" the shitty remake.

Don't get me wrong, their are a few remakes that I deem watchable and actually enjoy. But, Like I said, only a few. This one however, -if you haven't guessed by now I hated it- was one of the worst remakes I have ever seen. The plot of the original was so simplistic, yet I knew Hollywood was completely capable of screwing it up, because let's be serious when has Hollywood released anything credible to being a great horror film? In my opinion, not since the 90's. Usually if it is great, it's unheard of and I have a list of some very good films released in the cinema over the past 10 years that never got the exposure they deserved. Because they weren't all clean and polished like the rest of the mediocre crap released for the popcorn chomping ass goblins.

The plot to the original was about a strange neighbor moving in next door to local high school geek "Charlie Brewster"(William Ragsdale), who begins to get an obsession over the neighbor "Jerry Dandrige"(Chris Sarandon), leading him to discover that his neighbor is a vampire. Trying to warn his cynical Girlfriend "Amy"(Amanda Bearse) and bestfriend "Evil Ed"(Stephen Geoffreys), they think he's losing his mind and hire late night Horror movie host and Legend "Peter Vincent"(Roddy Mcdowall) However. The remake is nothing like this, Charlie (Anton Yelchin) is one of the popular kids, Ed (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) is even more of an outcast and not a close friend to Charlie at all and Peter Vincent (David Tennant) might as well have been played by Criss Angel.

Ed even get's taken out of the equation and isn't seen again till towards the middle/end of the film. He doesn't turn into a wolf either. Yep, Mcluvin was screwed in this film. Colin Farrell was I guess right for the looks of a modern day attractive vampire but not for acting like Jerry. I don't think anyone can top the brilliance and sarcasm of Chris Sarandon's character. The film was meant to be comical and I think Sarandon over emphasizing on words in the original was pretty damn funny. Especially when he said the words "Welcome to FRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT NIIIIIIGGGGGHT, For real" Unlike Farrell whom merely uttered te words with no enthusiasm what so ever.  Sarandon would eat and dispose, Farrell would harvest for an army of the undead to try and create a town of vampires. While this may sound good and had the ability to be a major effort over the original it was executed completely wrong.

Peter Vincent, looked like a mock Criss Angel, which was obviously what they were going for. Especially since his hair and such were all fake. Cute! However I like my older Peter Vincent, not Peter Vincent looking like my older brother. Amy (Imogen Poots) was hot, and I liked her character cause she was still nimble and sweet and didn't care if Charlie was popular or not. Yet Charlie was still a pompous ass with a hot girl and a hot mom "Jane"(Toni Collete). Ed had everything figured out in the first 5 mins of the film. Yeah I thought the film was about Charlie figuring it out and everyone thinking him insane? The film only offers some more blood, some lame modern comedy and if you're lucky some tits.

All and all this film is bad, and is aimed at the MTV generation. The plot is shot to shit and not even that funny. There's a huge lack of character and character development. A lot of CGI and a lot of extra crap added in that was completely UNNECESSARY! What makes this film "suck-cessful'? The "suckers" waiting to sink their teeth in it for the sake of being fans of the vampire genre and wanting to see something that isn't "Twilight". But at least with "Twilight" you know what you're getting yourself into. "Fright Night 2011" However, well..... IT JUST SUCKS!!!!

2/5