Writer: Jeremiah Campbell
Director: Corbin Timbrook
I have always been a horror film critic, not professionally, mostly vocally, recommending what my friends should watch and avoid like the plague. Many recommended I get my own website or try to get work as a critic and for them, this is the closest I'll likely get cause I feel my reviews are shite, but they're honest and primarily written for my friends. The feedback I have received from certain filmmakers I have reviewed so far has been great and I'm glad to know they enjoy my work as much as I enjoy theirs. In the past I also watched a bunch of terrible and I mean god awful films. Films of such ungodly garbage I couldn't rid of the stink for months. With that said, friends would try to find the worse horror movies imaginable and make me watch them. (Almost like Mystery Science Theater 3000 except in The Bronx) <--I totally set that up for others to pun. One day a dear friend of mine says "I have the worse film ever made, worse than anything you have ever seen in your life". I chuckled and said "I already own Raiders of The Living Dead" which I got rid of by the way, and he responded "No you have to see this."
Days later i go to him and pick up the film he claims to be "the worst film ever" and chuckle at the cover calling the killer "the missing member of Slipknot". I think, how bad could this be? It can't be too bad can it? I know I tend to build up my reviews with a form of pseudo mystique to make the readers think the film may be bad and then it isn't, but I can't, I really can't, cause this film is GOD AWFUL! I mean terrible, words can't explain the pain I endured whilst watching this terrible piece of donkey shit on a plate filled with abortion remnants, and semen covered maggots. There, I said it! It's even so bad that I have to really and I mean REALLY search the web to find pics of this god awful unholy disaster of a film. The box art even has the nerve to lie to you.
The film starts with the killer, ironically named "The Killer", (YES I KID YOU NOT, IT'S A JOKE GONE BAD.) Escaping from a mental institution and walking, yes we see him walking. Well his feet and he is wearing a pair of Patrick Ewing's. Yes and we see this for what feels like ten minutes, I'm not sure but it's a long time because they have enough time to play not one, but TWO crappy songs. He walks into the "Tower" which is revealed to be a thirteen floor building (not much of a tower if you ask me, but then again even those with autism have imagination) and the movie begins after watching the elevator for a few more minutes.
This film is terrible, the plot is cliche and extremely unintelligible, the acting is shit, the continuity is probably even worse then the pre-recorded music used on tv show's like Worlds Dumbest". This film is the poster child for world's dumbest and I can only blame the writer for writing it and the Director for directing it. The Directing may have made better films after, who knows. One thing is certain, not even God himself would be able to direct this film any better. I would though. I'd direct that piece of shit script down a toilet and yell That's a wrap".
Overall, avoid this film like a wandering vagina with extra strength aids, being one of the last vagina's on earth. It's so terrible it's not even funny. Literally, it's not laughably bad at all, it's the most irritating, hebetudinous piece of ass fuck to ever fuck my eye sockets. Yet still, isn't the worst film I've seen, but is pretty much up on the list. This film is so bad it doesn't and never will make my rating system so you do the math.
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